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Hats Barn: Following the path of destruction
16/12/10 || Love Lagerkvist
I picked up Hats Barn’s debut full length “Following the Path of Destruction” for two reasons: One, they are a French “raw” black metal band with an incredibly silly Swedish name (“Hats Barn” means “Children of Hate”, for all you non-meatballers). Two, the singer Psycho 666 was put in jail for half a year because of “desecration of cemetery, violence charges and carrying of firearms”. So really, what I was expecting here was some kind of wannabe Les Légions Noires playing the black metal equivalent of gangsta rap. And in a way I was right, only that what I originally had in mind was about a billion times better than what came out of my headphones a few minutes later.
As stated earlier, Hans Brorson plays “raw” black metal (“True Misanthropic Black Metal”, as they like to call it). This basically means that you, instead of actually mixing your music, just throw a raw tape into some French fromage-swamp, only to about a month later fish it up using a rotten concrete dildo. After this extremely important step, you ship it of to a treehouse in Belarus, where a fat bloke with a pre-used CD-burner “prints” your album in half a copy, instantly making it mega-kvlt. Oh, and to make this work your music also needs to be using the same two tremolo riff in every song while your vocalist takes an extremely bad shit and the drummer has some kind of spasm.
To their credit though, Haralds Boxtertrosa did decide to spice things up, using the same sample of what I think is a vildvittra from “Ronia the Robber’s Daughter” about every 5 seconds. Innovation is always innovation.
Look guys, I like the old-school black metal stuff too. In fact, I love it. We all do. But those days are over, for better or for worse. It’s time to look forward, to explore new horizons. Just look at some of your county mates, they’ve done a great job of actually progressing black metal, rather than just standing and anally fisting yourself in the cellar of Helvete. Or you could just take suicide by putting those really black metal crosses you seem to love up your urethra. Your choice really.
- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Autoproduction
- Website: Hats Barn MySpace
- Band
- Psycho 666: vocals, drums, illegal acts of kvlt
- Abystrum: guitars, bass, backing vocals
- Tracklist
- 01. Black Spirit
- 02. Warhymner
- 03. Extinction
- 04. Si vis Pacem Para Bellum
- 05. Ritual of the Black Goat
- 06. Fuck the Nazarene
- 07. Degenerence
- 08. Parallel Universe
